Top 5 Albums of the Grand Ole 90s

Man, have I been on a 90s kick lately. It's a little odd, but I tell ya, I dig it. Oh, the 90s...you just HAVE to love them. It was the decade of Beanie Babies, "Friends," and JNCO Jeans. But, it was also the decade that metal honestly started taking a bit of a downfall. I mean, when some of the biggest metal bands of the 90s include Korn and Limp Bizkit, that's definitely a downfall for metal. Before the 90s, metal had CAJONES. Hell, even Poison has more cajones than the ever shitty Chimp Dickzit. When the 90s came around, the metal started getting...for the lack of a better word, weird. Rap started to get thrown into the metal mix, along with electronica. That's not metal to me. The closest thing to rap metal I'll ever listen to is Anthrax/Public Enemy collaborations. But, there were a few diamonds in the roughness that was metal in the 90s, which leads me to my list of the top 5 metal albums of the 90s. Most of these albums are from the early 90s, when metal was starting to transcend into the "nu metal" bullshit, but still had some balls. So, here she blows:


5. Faith No More - "Angel Dust"

This is a band that I've been getting really into the past week. I have known about them, mostly because of their one huge hit, "Epic." But, I never really delved any further into their discography or any of their other songs until recently. What I have found is that this group is beyond talented and are very, very diverse. They can pull just about anything off and make it really kick ass, whether it be lounge music, funk, death metal, or industrial. FNM put their own spin on these genres and make them very much listenable. A wonderful example of all of this is 1992's "Angel Dust." This album is unbelievably diverse. You've got some damn near death metal tunes in "Caffeine" and "Malpractice." You've got some lounge-ish tracks in "RV" and "Midnight Cowboy." You've got some smooth R&B with their cover of the Commodores' "Easy." You've got some melodic tunes like one of their biggest singles, "Midlife Crisis" and "A Small Victory." Basically, you've got quite the smorgasbord of tunes on this record. This album, to me, is where FNM really shown their true colors. 1989's "The Real Thing" was sort of a getting-settled time for FNM, having just got their ridiculously talented lead singer Mike Patton into the band. "Angel Dust" was where they were able to really sound like Faith No More.

Bonzo Brad's Choice Tracks: "Caffeine" "Everything's Ruined" "Midlife Crisis" "Malpractice" "Kindergarden"

4. Skid Row - "Slave to the Grind"

Not many of the so-called "glam" bands of the 80s got "heavier" as time went on. In fact, a lot of them got pretty fucking soft or even more horrible than they were before. Or some would even just fall off the face of the Earth. Skid Row unfortunately got lumped in with these so-called "glam" bands when, in fact, they were far from "glam." They got lumped into that scene because of their hair and the fact that their ballads were huge hits. ("18 and Life," "I Remember You) But, aside from those two ballads, which weren't too bad honestly, they were gritty, tough, and ballsy. They would soon add fucking heavy to that list with 1992's "Slave to the Grind." This band did the exact OPPOSITE of what was expected from them. People thought they'd go soft, but they said, "Hell no! We're going to smash your face in and rock your balls off!" That's a pretty big and ballsy move on their part, but it is also pretty rad, because "Slave" was a smasher of a record. The title track really hits you in the gut with its near speed metal-ness. Tracks like "The Threat," "Living on a Chain Gang," "Get the Fuck Out," and "Riot Act" really kicked you in the balls and made you bang your head furiously. Even the so-called "ballads" in "Quicksand Jesus" and " Wasted Time" were tougher than a usual ballad. This, to me, is Skid Row's masterpiece. From start to finish, it really grabs you, headbutts you, caresses you for a few minutes, then slaps you around. You know you got a good record when it does that to you.

Bonzo Brad's Choice Tracks: "Slave to the Grind" "The Threat" "Quicksand Jesus" "Living on a Chain Gang" "Riot Act"

3. Pantera - "Vulgar Display of Power"

These thrashin', groovin' boys from Tejas (Texas in espanol) got people talking in 1990 with "Cowboys from Hell," an album that found Pantera reinventing themselves from a glam metal-esque band into a heavy metal powerhouse. 1992's "Vulgar Display of Power" left Pantera's mark on the metal world, and boy was it quite the mark! Yeah, "Cowboys from Hell" was pretty ferocious. But, "Vulgar Display of Power" was just downright lean and mean and ready to kick your ass over, under, sideways, and down. Nothing was quite this heavy at the time this was released. In fact, the heaviest album at the time was the album mentioned above this one. ("Slave to the Grind," for you slow ones) "Vulgar" would supply Pantera with their biggest hit at the time with "Walk," which thanks to Avenged Sevenchoad and Monday Night Football, is overplayed to shit. It's a shame too, because it is a damn good song. But, I have found that their are many, many other heavy kick ass tunes on this album. I mean, c'mon?! "Mouth for War?!" "A New Level?!" "FUCKING HOSTILE?!!" These songs were meant to be played during a gang fight and/or a night of heavy, decadent drankin'. This album is really one of the heaviest albums of all time, probably in the top 5, because it's that heavy and ferocious.

Bonzo Brad's Choice Tracks: "Mouth for War" "A New Level" "Fucking Hostile" "No Good (Attack the Radical)" "Regular People (Conceit)"

2. Metallica - "Metallica"

Boy, hasn't this album gotten heat from fans and metalheads alike. I really don't understand why. But, I can also see why they would give it such slack. The "Black Album" was Metallica's most commerical record, at the time (1991). But, also, this was a pretty heavy and hard rockin' record for it being commercial. Hell, it was definitely heavier than the radio rock shit of today. Why is that? It's because it's fucking METALLICA. Yeah, they play this album to death on hard rock radio now a days. Well, it's mostly it's five singles that came off of this record. But, the other half of the record? IT FUCKING RULES! There are some pretty heavy, thrashy, yet still commercial tracks like "Holier than Thou," "Through the Never," and "The Struggle Within." Then, there are some pretty killer straight up classic heavy metal tracks like "The God That Failed," "Don't Tread on Me," and "Of Wolf and Man." Those songs alone are why I put this album in this position on the list. But also, this album is a heavy metal classic. It's one of those albums that everybody and your mother has, like "Back in Black" and "Appetite for Destruction." The other tunes, as in the "singles," are awesome too, especially "Sad but True" and "Wherever I May Roam." But, "Enter Sandman" gets played way too fucking much EVERYWHERE from baseball games to bar mitzvahs. "Nothing Else Matters" is...different. "The Unforgiven" is actually really good too, reversing the whole ballad scheme they had before with a light verse and heavy chorus, but flipping it around for this song. All in all, this album really kicks ass. Yeah, it's not as good as their first 4 albums, especially "Ride the Lightning," but it still kicks major ass, because, well...it's simply METALLICA!

Bonzo Brad's Choice Tracks: "Holier than Thou" "Don't Tread on Me" "Through the Never" "Of Wolf and Man" "The Struggle Within"

1. Guns N' Roses - "Use Your Illusion"

Hands down, the most ambitious, creative, killer, uber-fantastic album of the 90s. I mean, c'mon?! It's Guns N' FUCKING Roses! These guys were on top of their game at this point. They just released one of the best debut albums of all time, along with having that said album sell like fucking hotcakes. These dudes were thinking, how the HELL do we up the ante here? Why, of course! Make a double album full of diverse, epic, heavy, hard rockin' tunes. That's what! No one was expecting this from Guns at all. With "Appetite for Destruction," the album mentioned earlier, it was very straightforward gritty, dirty hard rock. With "Use Your Illusion," (which, by the way, I view as a double album, not two separate albums) they were still a bit dirty and gritty, but no so straightforward. At this point, they felt they could do whatever the fuck they wanted. They knew they'd sell a shit ton. They'll record whatever the fuck they please. Honestly, this album really does rock as hard as "Appetite." The only differences is that it has slicker production and there is a little bit more variety. They had tunes that were leftover from "Appetite," like "November Rain," "Don't Cry," "You Could Be Mine," and "Back Off Bitch." Then, they had really fucking epic tunes like "Coma" (the most underrated song by G N' R, I have figured out after many listens) and "Estranged." They also had Izzy Stradlin (representin' my hometown, Lafayette, IN, along with W.A.R.) singing a few tunes, like "Double Talkin' Jive," "Dust N' Bones," and "You Ain't the First." Duff sings some too, with "So Fine" being his time to shine. "Use Your Illusion" is the most epic album I've ever heard. It's their "Exile on Main Street," that's for sure. Yeah, it's no "Appetite," but god damn it, it still fucking rules and has many killer tunes on it. There are, out of this whole double album, like, 2 songs that are pretty weak. But, overall, this album is just insane and chock full of absolutely awesome tunes. No one makes albums like this anymore, at least, ones that are THIS creative, diverse, AND good, all at the same time.

Bonzo Brad's Choice Tracks: "Right Next Door to Hell" "Perfect Crime" "Bad Obsession" "Coma" "Double Talkin' Jive" "Dead Horse" "Garden of Eden" "Civil War" "Get in the Ring" "Shotgun Blues" "Locomotive" "Pretty Tied Up" "Knockin' on Heaven's Door""Breakdown"

Bonzo Brad's Honorable (But Kick Ass) Album Selections:

Kyuss - "Blues for the Red Sun"
Soundgarden - "Badmotorfinger"
Ozzy Osbourne - "No More Tears"
Alice in Chains - "Dirt"
Corrosion of Conformity - "Deliverance"
Slayer - "Seasons of the Abyss"

So, there ya be! That's my 2 cents on the 90s and their kick ass metal albums. Check these albums out if you haven't already, or go revisit these records if you do have them, because trust me, they kick mucho asso.

Until next time kids,
Bonzo Brad

THE Albums That Inspired Thrash

Thrash metal has been a kind of metal I started to dig more and more as I dug deeper into the genre. At first, I’d only listen to Metallica and that was it. I never broadened my thrash horizons. That was until I heard Anthrax and their little ditty about the Cherokee people. You know…”Indians.” Then I started to become more interested in the genre and started to put my feet in the thrashy waters. I started to look for any classic thrash record around, from “Reign in Blood” to “Peace Sells…” Once I got them and started to listen, I couldn’t fucking stop. Now, my love of thrash has grown big time. I am now a fan of lesser-known thrash bands like Death Angel, Sodom, and Nuclear Assault, along with still loving Metallica and Anthrax. Because of my love of the genre, I decided to really dig deep and try to find it’s roots and what band/albums really helped kick start thrash. This is what I came up with:

Queen – “Sheer Heart Attack”

One reason why I think this album is an influence on thrash: “Stone Cold Crazy.” That song was one of many that really helped kick start thrash. I mean, that fucking riff by Brian May!? Good god! That thing is monstrous. The drumming on that tune by sir Roger Taylor is so fucking driving too. It’s a fucking brilliant tune, and is one of my favorite Queen tunes of all time. But, it’s not just that song that helped thrash become thrash. Brian May’s guitar work influenced a lot of thrash guitarists, especially Kirk Hammett and James Hetfield of Metallica. Other tracks to check out that were influential on thrash is the rollicking album opener “Brighton Rock” and the asskicking “Now I’m Here.”

 Black Sabbath – “Sabotage”

 There are MANY Sabbath records that could be put in this spot, like “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” or “Heaven and Hell.” But, this album is so fucking dark and heavy and was definitely a precursor to thrash. To me, this is definitely Sabbath’s heaviest record. No doubt about it. A track that always gets me on this album is “Symptom of the Universe.” That riff is fucking mental and gargantuan.  Even Sepultura thought so when they covered it on their “Roots” record. No one can come up with a riff the way Tony Iommi does. The man is pure genius and was a huge influence on many thrash guitarists, from Kerry King of Slayer to Dimebag Darrell of Pantera. Geezer Butler was also quite the influence on thrash bassists with his thunderous bass slapping, with his big fans being Frank Bello of Anthrax and Cliff Burton of Metallica. This album was also a big influence. The darkness and epicness of songs like “Megalomania” and “The Writ” would influence a lot of thrash bands as they would mature. 

Judas Priest – “Unleashed in the East”

Here’s another band that could have many albums on this list. Priest was extremely influential in thrash music, with their twin guitar attacks, pulsating drums, and Christ-like vocals of Rob “the Metal God” Halford. On their live record “Unleashed in the East,” those things mentioned earlier were put into full force. The album has many killer proto-thrash tunes, like the double-kick driving “Exciter,” “Sinner,” and “Tyrant.” These songs would make dudes in bands like Overkill and Anthrax get all excited and thrash it out on their instruments. Priest was really in their element on this record, being more furious, ferocious, and vicious as ever. “Stained Class” and “British Steel” would be two other records I’d consider influential on thrash, but this album really has the thrash elements down pat, like speed, energy, and intensity, along with a certain rawness too, due to it being live. Killer band, really killer record. One of my favorites of all time.

Motorhead – “Ace of Spades”

 What can you say about Motorhead? These guys were loud, fast, and crazy as fuck. They pretty much had the thrash thing down before many other bands and would go on to influence many thrash bands in America with their loud, raw style of metal. Many people were introduced to Motorhead through the song “Ace of Spades,” along with the album of the same name. The album was chock full of killer tunes, from the title track to “The Hammer.” The band was unbelievably raw and loud, compared to most bands of their time. They had an almost punky attitude to them, mixed in with ferocious metal, which is pretty much the ingredients for a killer thrash style. Motorhead pretty much got the ball rolling for many thrash bands and are still going at it.

Iron Maiden – “Killers”

 Maiden’s first two records are extremely influential on thrash music. When Maiden had Paul Di’anno in the band as their singer, they had more of a street-style, punky metal thing going on, but with virtuosic playing over it, making it a little more technical than Motorhead, but still keeping the attitude and ferociousness. If I had to pick between the two albums as which one is the better one and most influential, I’d no doubt say “Killers.” The album had many classic tunes on it, like the album opener “The Ides of March/Wrathchild,” the title track, “Murders in the Rue Morgue,” and “Another Life.” This album has a little more punch to it too, courtesy of the fantastic production by the legendary Martin Birch. That gives this album more reason to be a very influential album on the thrash scene.

Diamond Head – “Lightning to the Nations”

 No Diamond Head, no Metallica or Megadeth. These dudes were HIGHLY influential on these bands, especially this record. This is the only record they are really known for, due to half the album being covered by Metallica. But, it serves it right to be known, because the album really kicks ass and has some really killer riffing going on courtesy of guitarist Brian Tatler. You can definitely hear the influences of Zeppelin and Purple, along with Sabbath and Priest, in the songs on this record, like “Am I Evil?” “Sucking My Love,” and “Helpless.” Hard to find album anymore, but if you want to find a few of the roots of thrash, just go to good ole Youtube and find ya some Diamond Head.

 Some other proto-thrashtastic albums to check out:

Raven – “Rock Until You Drop”

Riot – “Fire Down Under”

Saxon – “Wheels of Steel”

Angel Witch – “Angel Witch”

Venom – “Welcome to Hell”

Tygers of Pan Tang – “Gangland”

Now, go getcha some of this mad thrashin’ music and see where thrash really came from.

Until next time kids,

Bonzo Brad

Top 10 Anthrax Songs That Suck...NOT!

It's been a big fucking week for these boys, with their first album in 8 years (and first with THE Anthrax vocalist, Joey Belladonna, since 1990's "Persistence of Time") "Worship Music"(which absolutely fucking RIPS. Metal album of the year, in my opinion)  being released this past Tuesday, the band having their own "Anthrax Day" in the Bronx (their home base), and them playing Yankee Stadium as part of the "Big 4" concert with Metallica, Slayer, and Megadeth. So, it's ALSO been a big week for Anthrax fans, like myself. I decided to have a "Worship Anthrax Week" this week, along with Liquid Metal on Sirius XM doing a similar thing. To go along with my "Worship Anthrax Week," I decided to make this week's post dedicated to them and their kick-assery. Next to Metallica, Anthrax is my favorite thrash band, and one of my top 10 favorite bands of all time. These guys have MANY killer songs, but, I've decided to round together MY top 10 favorite Anthrax tunes that really fucking suck...NOT!

10. "Metal Thrashing Mad" - 1984

We'll kick off this list with a little metal thrashing madness! This song comes off of their first record, "Fistful of Metal," (with one of THE most metal covers, ever!) that came out in 1984. When the album was recorded, Dan Turpin was their vocalist. He had kinda raspy vocals that I don't really dig all too much (making "Fistful" more of a "listen to the music, fuck the vocals" kind of album, to me.) But, this is definitely my favorite Turpin-era song, which has been a concert favorite that's still played today! The riffing is absolutely killer and the drums are ripping, as always. The song has a Maiden/Priest kind of feel to it, which isn't surprising, given that those were HUGE influences on them as a band. I prefer the song when good ole Joesph Belladonna sings it, just like the video above. It's an essential Anthrax song, in my opinion. Right up there with "Caught in a Mosh," "Madhouse," and "I Am the Law."

9. "Room for One More" - 1993

Fast forward to 1993. The band has had two singers, at this point, in Turpin and Belladonna, being Belladonna the quintessential Anthrax vocalist (still true to this day). I don't know what people were thinking when Belladonna was fired in 1992, but I'd have to wonder if people thought this band would continue without Belladonna. If I lived in the time this happened, I wouldn't have a hope in hell this would happen. But, surprisingly, they did continue without Belladonna, and even more surprisingly, they still ripped. John Bush, former singer of Armored Saint (killer band!), came in and made a pretty killer album in 1993's "Sounds of White Noise." The album wasn't as thrashy as the past 'Thrax albums, but was definitely still heavy as fuck, as exemplified here on this killer tune from the album. The riff grooves like a mother, and the drumming kicks ass, playing along with the riffing going on. Bush sounds pretty awesome on the tune, as well. People that compare Bush and Belladonna, well...I look at it like I look at the Dio and Ozzy eras of Sabbath: they were two different bands that kicked ass and did their own asskickin' things. 'Nuff said.

8. "Medusa" - 1985

A tune about a motherfuckin' bitch! Those tunes are the fun kinds, right boys and girls?! Well, this tune IS fun, AND fucking bangs hard. The riff in this song sticks in your head. "Duh duh, duh na na, duh duh, duh na na." I LOVE IT. The chorus is pretty damn catchy too, along with the whole "DESTROYER OF LIFE, DEMON!" gang vocal bridge. One of MANY kick ass tunes off of my second favorite 'Thrax album: 1985's "Spreading the Disease." This was the first full album recorded with Belladonna, who joined in 1984 and recorded the "Armed and Dangerous" EP. This was the album that was going to kick start their career, in which, it did, touring with Metallica and many others in support of the album. It was going to be the next album though that was going to put them in a whole 'nother level. But, back to the song, it's still performed live from time to time, appearing on the "Big 4" DVD as part of their set. Although the vocals are not as, uhm, good as they once were, it still kicks ass, and Belladonna, for the most part, does a good job. It's just that damn chorus. Oh well, he still kicks ass, and so does the song!

7. "Belly of the Beast" - 1990

MORE COWBELL! Yeah, I thought that when I heard this killer tune off of 1990's "Persistence of Time." The drumming in this tune really gets me, because it grooves like a motherfucker, and has plenty of cowbell. Charlie Benante, dare I say, is a fucking UNDERRATED drummer. You hardly here his name when it comes to thrash drumming, or metal drumming in general. You usually hear about Lars Ulrich or Dave Lombardo, but never Benante. The man is a BEAST (yeah, I said that). The guitars in the beginning throw you for a loop once everything else kicks in. It's like it's going at another tempo, but then, it all comes together and gels...and ROCKS! The mosh part in the middle of the song fucking rules too. It really makes me want to break shit when I hear it. Killer song from a very killer album.

6. "The Devil You Know" - 2011

Personally, I wanted to choose "Earth on Hell" as my song for this slot, but, they don't have it on fucking YouTube, so, I chose this song instead to represent the metal album of the year this year. This song is like AC/DC on roids. Specifically, "Whole Lotta Rosie" meets "Caught in a Mosh." The riff is monstrous and gives the song lots of swagger. Belladonna is in fine form. It was good to hear him sing with Anthrax on new material again. It had been long overdue. The song just fucking GROOVES though. It gets you in a headbanging frenzy and puts you in a damn good mood. I know I was when I heard this song following "Earth on Hell" on "Worship Music." The riff in the opening of the song just put a shit eating grin on my face way too fucking big. I loved it, as I did the rest of the album.

5. "Schism" - 1988

To me, "State of Euphoria" is Anthrax's most underrated album. This album has some really stellar tunes on it! "Antisocial," "Be All, End All," "Now It's Dark," "Out of Sight, Out of Mind," so on and so forth. It really is a great album, but you hardly hear any one talk about it. It's quite a shame. The only "album" of Anthrax's that people really ever talk about is "Among the Living," which, despite it being a very kick ass album, is disappointing. 'Thrax had many great albums, and all of the Belladonna albums kick ass, this one being no different. My favorite track off of this record? Definitely "Schism." Although, it was pretty tough to choose between this song or "Out of Sight...". But, the drum intro in "Schism" really kicked my ass, along with the riffing in this song. So, I chose this song. The lyrics are actually quite good, dealing with a very serious topic: racism. "Don't look at me as a white man. I'm just a man." It's definitely about racism, and it's damn good lyrics too. Metal heads can write about serious shit, even though some people think differently. Even though Anthrax would have their silly moments in the band often, this song was a bit of a change of pace for them, dealing with a serious subject. But, they adjusted well to the change, and it would go on to their next record, "Persistence of Time."

4.  "Lone Justice" - 1985

Oh, buddy. Hear that bass?! Fucking A! Frankie Bello owns this tune, giving it it's groove and also giving it a kick in the ass. A very killer bass player, and one of my top 5 favorite bassists ever. Anyway! This song, man oh man, it is ridiculous. Lyrics about cowboys, well...at the time, I'm sure it was pretty funny. But, it still rules, because Anthrax would be the band to write a song about cowboys and have it kick ass. The riffs rule on this song too, as does Belladonna's singing. I don't feel like I need to say anymore. Just listen to this damn song.

3. "Efilnukefesin (N.F.L.)" - 1987

Unison riffing rules in this tune, with everybody locking in with each other and giving off a behemoth groove that just rips. Every time this song comes on, I can't help but headbang profusely and drum along. The riff is memorable! It's just that damn good! The lyrics were supposedly about John Belushi, who sadly passed away in 1982. Goes to show you how different these guys were compared to other heavy metal bands at the time. The things they'd write about were so out there, goofy, but yet, have a serious undertone to them. That could pretty much sum up Anthrax as a band too, and that's why they fucking rule, in my book.

2. "Gung Ho" - 1985

This song ALWAYS gets me jacked up every time I hear it. It's just so fucking fast n' thrashy, just the way I like it! Charlie Benante, again, rules in this tune. His double bass is fucking insane. I don't know how the hell he does it. He's fucking superhuman, I swear. The riffing in this tune is fucking dirty and heavy. It's really fucking beautiful. And what's even better than all that? A killer mosh part at the end, led by chants of "NOT!" and some increasing speed as it goes on, getting you more and more jacked up as you listen and headbang/mosh along. I wish they would play this song still, because this song really brings the motherfuckin' ruckus. Wanna fuck shit up at a party that sucks ass? Put this song on and mosh along. Fuck, break some stuff, and fuck some other people's girlfriends while you listen to this too! It's just THAT good!

1. "Indians" - 1987

There was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be number 1. This was my first Anthrax song I ever heard. I heard it on a compilation album that I got as a kid: "Hard Rock Cafe's 80s Heavy Metal." It had everything from Twisted Sister to Krokus to Motorhead on it. It was a bitchin' CD to have as a kid. Then, this song came on. Man oh man, I never heard anything quite like it before. Not even Metallica seemed like these guys. It was a whole new thing to me. It was so gritty, so heavy, and so fast. I fucking LOVED it. I'd run around my basement listening to this song, acting like a fucking retard because of how kick ass the song was. I was intrigued by this band after I heard this tune. I mean, I hear a song about Indians as a kid, and I was going to be interested. Don't ask why. It was just because I was a kid and never heard any shit about Indians before. Not even the "CHEROKEE PEE-PLE!" song. Not only did the lyrics get me, but so did the music. The guitars really got me off. The sound of chugging and killer riffing makes me act like a fucking maniac. The drums were insane to me as a kid. Especially when I was just getting into drums. It was my first time I really heard double bass drums, and it was mind blowing. I'm like, HOW THE FUCK HE DO THAT WITH HIS FEET?! God damn. "Indians" is, and always will be, my favorite Anthrax tune. Forever and ever. 

There are MANY other 'Thrax songs I love, but didn't get mentioned in this list. SO!
I'll list them now, in chronological order:

"A.I.R." - 1985
"Armed and Dangerous" - 1985
"Among the Living" - 1987
"A Skeleton in the Closet" - 1987
"Out of Sight, Out of Mind" - 1988
"Now It's Dark" - 1988
"Keep It In The Family" - 1990
"In My World" - 1990
"Potter's Field" - 1993
"Black Lodge" - 1993
"Earth On Hell" - 2011
"In the End" - 2011
"Judas Priest" - 2011
"Fight 'em 'till You Can't" - 2011 

So, there you be, kids! Plenty of 'Thrax for you to check out and bang your fucking head to. All these songs I mentioned are killer as shit, and I SUGGEST YOU LISTEN. It might just blow your mind...and eardrums. 

Until next time bros and broettes,
Bonzo Brad 

Bonzo Brad's Top 5 Debut Albums of All Time

Every once in a while, there is a album that comes out and just turns the world on it's fucking side. It makes the world sit there with it's jaw dropped and its face melted and in a bucket on the floor. Not a lot of debut albums do this. Usually, debut albums can be a hit or miss affair. They can come off sounding like a new, innovative, and kick ass style of music, or they can come off sounding like complete shit. Now, I'll be focusing on the debut albums that, to me, just shook the fucking world up. Albums that were so unreal and kick ass, most people did not know what to think of them. I have picked the top 5 debut albums that, to me, wound up being extremely influential. Albums that really changed the hard rock and metal games. Alright, enough babblin'! Let's get this motherfucker on the go!

5. Exodus - "Bonded by Blood"
Talk about a steam roller of a fucking record! It sure feels like you got ran over by one when you are done listening to the album, and boy, what a good feeling that is! When this album came out in 1985, it changed the game for thrash. Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Anthrax, Overkill, and other bands at the time were churning out this music, along with Exodus. But after 5 years of slaving away on the club scene,  Exodus finally got a record deal and put together their first record that would have such a tougher, heavier, faster sound compared to the other bands in their genre, at the time. Just when people thought metal got at its heaviest with bands like Metallica and Slayer, Exodus comes along and just takes it up a few notches. You can hear a lot of this record in metal bands today, like Toxic Holocaust, Municipal Waste, and Havok, which goes to show you how big of a influence this record has had on metal in general.

Bitchin' Tracks: "Bonded by Blood," "Piranha," "Metal Command," "Strike of the Beast"

4. Guns N' Roses - "Appetite for Destruction"
When this album was released in 1987, hard rock was getting...well, wimpy. The older guys trying to be "hip" like KISS, Aerosmith, and Ted Nugent, were making their worst music of their career around this time. The newer bands cared more about their looks than their music (I'm looking at you, Grim Reaper and Nitro.) It seems as if hard rock was about to take its fall. But, along comes a band from the dirtiest, grimiest, darkest, sleaziest part of LA that gives hard rock a much needed kick in the ass, and that band was Guns N' Roses. This album was a reminder of what hard rock once was: dirty, sleazy, loud, and rip-roaring. The album reaked of the mean streets of LA where they come from. It was a wicked combination of old, kick-ass Aerosmith and Bon Scott-era AC/DC, with punk and metal flavors thrown into the mix. There was NOTHING like this out in 1987. Not even Motley Crue was this raw and heavy, at the time. They were as slick as Rick.  This album really changed the game for hard rock, especially when this album started selling like fucking hotcakes. From then on out, hard rock started focusing more on the music, and less on the looks.

Bitchin' Tracks: "It's So Easy," "Out Ta Get Me," "My Michelle," "Rocket Queen"

3. Black Sabbath - "Black Sabbath"
Here it is. The album that pretty much made metal...well, metal. This is what would influence all kinds of metal in the future, from black to progressive, death to glam. There was nothing this heavy at the time. Nothing so dark and eerie either. Yeah, there were bands that were playing loud as fuck, like Blue Cheer, MC5, and the Stooges, but the shit they were playing was still very rock n' roll. Sabbath comes along, and just creeps the shit out of you. I mean, listen to the album-opening title track. The sounds of rain falling and bells ringing. You turn the lights off at your place and put that on, and you will shit your pants in fear. It gives me chills whenever I listen to it. It's still THE darkest thing I have ever heard. This whole album was loud, dark, mysterious, and heavy. Heavy as HELL! Nobody was playing the bass like Geezer Butler was at the time, with the sound heavily distorted and loud as hell. Nobody was pounding the skins like Bill Ward was, in his weird, syncopated jazz-metal way. Nobody was churning out heavy fucking riffs like Tony Iommi, and lastly, nobody was singing like Ozzy was singing like, in his maniacal, lunatic-esque way. These guys started it all, along with Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin, and this album is a milestone in heavy metal. The groundwork, you can say.

Bitchin' Tracks: "Black Sabbath," "The Wizard," "N.I.B.," "Warning"

 

 2. Metallica - "Kill 'em All"
Holy hell! Now, here's an album that turned a lot of heads when it came out back in 1983. No one was making metal this fast and this vicious, at the time. It was very punky and very British sounding, yet, this fuckers were from San Francisco. Metallica was taking things that Maiden and Priest were doing, and taking them up a few notches. A couple years before "Bonded by Blood" was released, this was THE thrash album, and honestly, to me, still is THE thrash album. Yeah, "Bonded" kicks loads of ass, but, this was the first REAL thrash record released that would go on to influence many other thrash bands, and metal bands too. The album had such a raw and exhilarating sound to it and was very refreshing. Not a lot of people knew about the bands in Europe that were making this kind of music, which influenced Metallica to make the music they make, and what Metallica did was take what these European bands were doing at the time, putting their spin on it, and unleashing it on the unsuspecting US of A. No one knew what to think of this, at first. It was so out there at the time. A band playing so fucking heavy, loud, and fast, with a punk attitude. Not a lot of American bands were doing this. American bands were looking to be the next AC/DC. Metallica comes along with this record and just kicks these Americans right in the ass, and well, they caught on as years went along. This is the album that would kick start a THRASH-eration!

Bitchin' Tracks: "Hit the Lights," "The Four Horsemen," "No Remorse," "Metal Militia"

1. Van Halen - "Van Halen"
This album right here...what can I say except...it's VAN FUCKING HALEN! These dudes, along with Sabbath, really changed up the hard rock and metal games in the 70s, musically, and this album...well, REALLY changed shit up. This album was a high-speed, energetic, in your face, party hearty, and horny as hell! No one at the time was making this kind of hard rock. Not even AC/DC. Not even KISS! These guys came along, and while I hate to say it, put the dinosaurs (Sabbath, KISS, Aerosmith, Nugent) to sleep. Everybody was like, who the HELL is this band? And WHY are they playing like THAT?! The guitarwork from Sire Edward Van Halen was fucking MINDBLOWING at the time, especially on this record. Nobody was doing the shit he was doing at the time, except maybe for Ace Frehley. But, Eddie took it to a whole new level. A level that could not be reached for a LONG TIME. David Lee Roth made sure it was important to be a kick ass frontman as it was to be a killer vocalist. Nobody could touch Diamond Dave. His jumps, leaps, and gymnastics-esque moves were one of a kind, and would go on to influence many to come after him. This album would set the groundwork for metal to come, especially thrash and glam bands. It sure set the groundwork for me! I heard this album when I was 7 years young and got put on my ass by it! It was fucking unbelievable! It was full of fucking energy and made me fucking energetic as hell while listening to it. It really got me going, unlike any other album I heard at the time. THAT, along with it being very influential, is why I picked this album as my favorite debut album of all time.

Bitchin' Tracks: "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love," "I'm the One," "Feel Your Love Tonight," "On Fire"

A Very Honorable Mention Goes Out to...

Motley Crue - "Too Fast for Love"
Since I was doing a top 5 list, I couldn't put ALL of my favorites on the list, which was a bummer, because there is a lot of awesome ones. But, I could not leave this album off, because one, it's fucking MOTLEY CRUE. These guys kick loads of ass, and I don't give a fuck if you don't think so, and two, this album is raw and dirty as hell! This album helped kickstart the glam movement in LA and was very influential in the hair metal world. The album was very punky, yet sweet. Heavy, yet melodic. Van Halen was very straight-ahead, balls-out hard rock, while Motley was very street-smart and raw. The album took what Van Halen was doing, mixed in some punk and 70s glam, and basically had themselves an album! My second favorite Crue record next to the untouchable "Shout at the Devil."

Bitchin' Tracks: "Live Wire," "Public Enemy No. 1," "Piece of Your Action," "Too Fast for Love"

Other Killer Debut Albums Worth Checking Out:

Twisted Sister – “Under the Blade”

KISS – “KISS”

AC/DC – “High Voltage”

Megadeth – “Killing is My Business…and Business is Good!”

Def Leppard – “On Through the Night”

Cheap Trick – “Cheap Trick”

Ozzy Osbourne – “Blizzard of Ozz”

Iron Maiden – “Iron Maiden”

Raven – “Rock Until You Drop”

Testament – “The Legacy”

Slayer – “Show No Mercy”

Dio – “Holy Diver”

Led Zeppelin – “Led Zeppelin”

So, there it is! MY list of favorite debut albums, and I suggest you check them ALL out, because they are all very noteworthy and kick ass. 

ALSO! Good news on my homefront. Myself and my buddy, Will Stricker, had an interview yesterday night at the campus radio station here at Ball State, WCRD 91.3, to have our own radio show. Because of our enthusiasm, dedication, and love for heavy metal, along with an open time slot, Will and I now have our own radio show on Metal Mondays called "Portion of Distortion with Will and Brad!" Basically, it will be where the old heavy metal meets the new heavy metal, with all of it's subgenres in between. The show tentatively starts on 9/19/11 and will air every Monday from 11 to midnight on WCRD 91.3. If you do not live in the Muncie area or are just looking for a way to stream my show, you can go to http://wcrd.iweb.bsu.edu/ and listen to the "Portion of Distortion" online! I am unbelievably stoked about this show and cannot wait to spread my love of killer metal music with everyone! I'll let everyone know about the details about the first show when I get them, but be ready to put up the horns and be fed a PORTION OF DISTORTION very soon! 

Until next time fuckers,

Bonzo Brad

(Don't Worry, I AM Alive) Bonzo Brad's Bitchin' Musician: John Sykes

Hello, one and all, I AM BACK. Did you think I really went away? No way! Bonzo been busy! Starting up a new semester of college and getting settled into my new casa has been keeping me pretty busy. I haven't had time to actually sit and write something for this blog because of the busyness, but now, I have decided to get it going again. What's a better way to kick this blog off again by writing something about one of my favorite guitarists who happens to be sorely underrated? NOTHING! So, here we go dudes and dudettes!

Most of you guys may not know the man above, but you actually do if you are a fan of Whitesnake, especially songs like "Here I Go Again," "Is This Love?," and "Still of the Night," basically, the band's biggest songs, then you DO know the man above: Mr. John Sykes. You see, HE was the one that wrote the music to those tunes. In fact, he pretty much wrote the music to the whole self-titled record that sent 'Snake into superstardom in 1987. But, you know what blows? David Coverdale let this talented fucker go AFTER the biggest album of his career is released, due to "clashing of egos," and other bullshit like that. You think that things would get worse for Mr. Sykes after this happens, but, it only gets better for this talented six-string shooter. I'll get to that later and give you some background on this mammajamma.

Born on July 29, 1959, John Sykes would go on to be a prominent force in the hard rock and heavy metal world with his lightning-fast and technical guitar playing. He would first become known in a band that was very pivotal in the NWOBHM movement in the early 1980s called Tygers of Pan Tang, to which the band made their two best albums with Sykes in 1981's "Spellbound" and "Crazy Nights." He would contribute 2 tracks on 1982's "The Cage," but then he would either leave or get fired from the band. Sykes would try his hand in a band called Badlands (not the band I've talked about with Jake E. Lee), but the band did not even get their feet off the ground. Sykes would then go and try out for Ozzy Osbourne's band as a replacement for Randy Rhoads, but would prove unsuccessful in his attempt to try out (imagine how THAT would've worked out if he joined his band. Fucking INSANE!) Things started to look up for Sykes as he was recruited at the ripe young age of 23 by the one and only Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy to play in, well, Thin Lizzy. He would record "Thunder and Lightning," the band's final studio album, with them, as well as a live record, but after the tour that promoted the record, the group disbanded, and Sykes was bandless yet again. But, not for long!

A man that goes by the name of David Coverdale came and took Sykes and brought him along for the ride he calls Whitesnake. Sykes would rerecord guitar parts for the US release of the band's breakthrough, "Slide It In," and then go on to tour with the band supporting the record. When they went on to record what would become the self-titled monster of an album, Sykes would wind up contributing a hell of a lot of stuff to the record, co-writing the majority of the album, along with recording the guitars, as well as backing vocals, for the tracks on the record. I mentioned the tracks that he helped write on this record above, which basically, were the band's biggest hits. He had a knack for writing mammoth fucking arena hard rock songs, and he did them with style, as the whole album that was released in 1987 proved. So, when Coverdale decided to scrap the entire band that played on the self-titled record, including Sykes, it was quite insane to hear, but not real shocking too. Sykes was now on his own, again, but things looked good for him though, with the "Whitesnake" record selling like hot-cakes and the singles off the record being played nonstop. But, Sykes was ready to start something new. Something of his own...

After being fired from the 'Snake, Sykes decided to form a band of his own. This monster of a band is referred to as Blue Murder, and they are EASILY one of the most underrated hard rock bands ever! Even though they only had about three records to their name, the talent was there, as well as the power and melody. Sykes would recruit powerhouse drummer Carmine Appice and The Firm bassist Tony Franklin for the group, which was a four-piece for a time with future Badlands vocalist Ray Gillen on vocals for the demos, but the band decided that Sykes was better off singing the tunes themselves. Releasing one of the best hard rock records of the 80s in their self-titled record, the band would go on with some moderate success off of that record alone, scoring hits like "Jelly Roll" and "Valley of the Kings." But, Appice and Franklin would leave the group, resulting in a break for awhile until a freshened up Blue Murder released "Nothin' but Trouble" in 1993. The album though was not a success, and this led to Sykes going on and making music as a solo artist. He would release plenty of studio solo records, along with doing a lot of touring, playing not only his solo work, but songs from Whitesnake, Blue Murder, and Thin Lizzy, which he would reform in 1996 taking over lead vocals, along with doing guitar work. He would resign from Lizzy in 2009, saying he wanted to make music on his own now.

Things are looking real good for Sykes again, as I just heard that Sykes was teaming up with one of my favorite drummers and musicians, Mike Portnoy, for a super group of sorts with no name and an unnamed bassist. I can already tell how insane that group is gonna be, and they haven't released SHIT yet. Putting those two together is going to result in something magical, just like the man himself. The guy would influence many with his amazing, tasteful, and stunning guitar playing, song writing, and vocals, like Zakk Wylde and Doug Aldrich (a current member of Whitesnake now!) He had a great set of pipes, and not a lot of people realize that so much. More people think of his guitar playing and songwriting, which is understandable, but man oh man, the dude could belt it! This guy shall be remembered as one of the all-time greatest guitarists. If he doesn't, well, a big FUCK YOU to who doesn't think this.

Here's a rip-roaring solo from Mr. Sykes (Watch all nine minutes and be educated, you bad mothers!):

Bonzo Brad's Recommended Sykes Records:
"Spellbound" - Tygers of Pan Tang
"Thunder and Lightning" - Thin Lizzy
"Whitesnake" - Whitesnake
"Blue Murder" - Blue Murder

Bonzo Brad's Insane Sykes Playlist:
"Love Don't Stay" - Tygers of Pan Tang
"Gangland" - Tygers of Pan Tang
"Cold Sweat" - Thin Lizzy
"Someday She's Gonna Hit Back" - Thin Lizzy
"Crying in the Rain" - Whitesnake
"Still of the Night" - Whitesnake
"Bad Boys" - Whitesnake
"Valley of the Kings" - Blue Murder
"Runaway" - Blue Murder

Enjoy this legend, my friends, cause he is one of the most kick-ass guitarists, EVER!

Cheers,
Bonzo Brad

Bonzo Brad's Underground Classic Album: Badlands' "Badlands"

One of the best bands you don't know about, Badlands came onto the hard rock/heavy metal scene around 1989. Guitarist Jake E. Lee was fired from Ozzy Osbourne's band by, of course, Ozzy's manager/wife/cunthole Sharon Osbourne. Baffled at this, he decided he should start a little band of his own that would be something totally different from what he did with Ozzy. Lee enlisted former Black Sabbath singer Ray Gillen and, at the time, former Black Sabbath/current Alice Cooper/future KISS drummer Eric Singer, along with bassist Greg Chaisson. This band would be the bluesy, groovin', hard rock band that is Badlands. The band released their debut record in May of 1989. This album is easily one of the best hard rock albums of the 80s. I gave it a listen today as I was doing my cardio workout, and hot damn, was this album a ripper! It really got me going and headbanging along while I was getting all fit and shit. From start to finish, this album is just nonstop hard rock n' roll. The riffs are absolutely killer, especially "Devil's Stomp." That riff is just so fucking greasy and dirty, it makes me want to cleanse myself after listening to it. The melodies are top notch, like on "Dreams in the Dark," the band's most successful single. The singing is very superb from Mr. Gillen, who is a man I would want to check out more of, especially his work in Sabbath. The bass and drums are thunderous, pounding, and heavy, courtesy of Chaisson and Sir Singer, who is a drummer I have a lot of respect for, because he's got fucking chops out his ass! I really dug the whole bluesy hard rock thing the band had going on, because, outside of Cinderella, AC/DC, GN'R, and the Cult, there were not a whole lot of bands doing the whole bluesy-tinged hard rock thing. Badlands had a unique spin on the whole bluesy hard rock genre, and this debut album of theirs is a perfect example of that certain spin they put on the genre. The band would go on to release one more record, "Voodoo Highway," before inner band tensions, death, and band members leaving to bigger and better things split the band apart. It is rather unfortunate the band didn't release a lot of music, because the band was so god damn talented and had killer musicians in the group that brought their thing to the table. But, at least the band did make some music, and some real fucking killer music at that. I HIGHLY recommend you check out this record, because, like I said earlier, it is one of the best albums you probably have not heard.

Album Info:
"Badlands"
Released: May 11, 1989
Recorded: One on One Studios, Los Angeles, CA and the Record Plant, New York City, NY.
Label: Atlantic
Producer: Paul O'Neill
Billboard US Peak: 57
US Record Sales: 400,000

Track Listing:
All songs written by Lee, Gillen, and O'Neill, except where shown.
1. High Wire (Lee, Gillen)
2. Dreams in the Dark
3. Jade's Song (Instrumental) (Lee)
4. Winter's Call (Lee, Gillen)
5. Dancing on the Edge
6. Streets Cry Freedom
7. Hard Driver
8. Rumblin' Train
9. Devil's Stomp
10. Seasons
11. Ball and Chain (Lee, Gillen)

The Band:
Ray Gillen - Lead Vocals, Blues Harp
Jake E. Lee - Guitars, Keyboards
Eric Singer - Drums
Greg Chaisson - Bass

Bonzo Brad's Favorite Tunes:
"High Wire," "Dreams in the Dark," "Rumblin' Train," "Devil's Stomp," and "Ball and Chain."
But, I recommend you check out the whole fucking album bros and broettes!

Download Links:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3403383/Badlands_-_Badlands_%281989%29

http://btjunkie.org/torrent/Badlands-Badlands-1989-320kbps/4486adaaacad9edefce6a18b13e4772bccbbe4b6ef75

http://www.4shared.com/file/KFkWTjGA/Badlands_-_Badlands__1989_.html

http://www.mediafire.com/?3azzd2e2qtz

Seriously fuckers. Check this album out! You will not regret one bit of it. One of the finest hard rock records to come out of the 80s, and there were definitely plenty of them!

Until I type on here again,
Bonzo Brad

Happy 30th Birthday to a Dying Breed that is MTV!

30 years ago today, a little contraption on the cable television called MTV debuted. Little would the VJs and crew of this contraption know what kind of effect MTV would have on the world…and also what dramatic changes the channel would have within 30 years. The channel would become a way to get your music news and finding out about new bands to becoming a way to get the new drama on a teen and her baby to finding out about who is next in line to get the face fucked up. MTV is nowhere near a music channel anymore, which is unfortunate, because that was what the channel was all about at the time. Hell, even their cartoons showed videos! (Beavis and Butthead, you guys fucking rule.) So, my way of saying happy birthday to a dying breed that is MTV is to give you my top 5 favorite music videos that first aired on August 1, 1981. How I found these was, one, a list online of all the first videos to be aired on this day today in 1981, and two, from what I watched of the very first hour of MTV aired at midnight of August 1, 1981. So, as MTV said at the launch of the channel at midnight of this day, “Ladies and Gentleman, ROCK AND ROLL.”

5. Rainbow – “Can’t Happen Here”

Gonna start backwards and go from 5 to 1, starting with a little band that former Deep Purple guitarist Ritchie Blackmore put together called Rainbow. His little band happened to have 2 videos air this day in 1981, which was quite the deal for them, but also, it was because the channel only had some odd videos in their collection. This video is well, very 80s. With its footage of everyday life and the cartoon images of oil in the city popping up here and there, the video is definitely trying to get it’s message out about how people are getting greedy about their oil, a message that is still very clear today. This song happens to be one of my favorite Rainbow tunes, and the video isn’t half bad. It’s just…again, very 80s.

4. April Wine – “Just Between You and Me”

April Wine was a great little Canadian hard rock band that was having a grand little time in the states at this time in 1981. Not only did they have a monster of an album in “The Nature of the Beast”, but they also had 2 hit singles here in the US with “Sign of the Gypsy Queen” and this tune here. These 2 songs happened to have videos that accompanied them, and both of those videos happened to air on the day MTV debuted, which is pretty rad for them, I’d say. I decided to choose this video just because it is one of my favorite power ballads and also, the video is extremely simple: A band in a live setting playing their instruments and keeping it real as possible. Not many videos like this anymore. Hell, not many VIDEOS anymore.

3. Iron Maiden – “Wrathchild”

I was rather surprised to find that Iron Maiden was played on the very first day of MTV. I was also surprised they had not only 1, but 2, videos played on this day, one being “Iron Maiden” and the other this one. Iron Maiden was starting to become somewhat successful here in the States, with a “killer” new album out at the time (pun intended, since their album at the time was called “Killers.” I make myself piss my pants in laughter.) and a successful tour with Judas Priest. So, to get this kind of exposure would definitely be a helpful thing for them, especially later on in their career. Again, another simple ass video with a band and their instruments playing their asses off. You don’t get shit like this anymore.

2. Pat Benatar – “You Better Run”

I know what you are thinking. “This is a hard rock/heavy metal blog, dude! BENATAR? Not even close, my friend!” See, that is where you are fucking wrong! She definitely is a rock singer, and her music is pretty hard rockin, and she also happens to make me pretty hard too, especially in this video with her leather pants and sex faces. Why I picked this video was because, one, it was the second video to ever air on MTV, which, well, still cool, even though it is not the first, and two, this song actually rocks pretty fucking hard. The drums are bitchin’ in this tune (always was a fan of her drummer, even though I do not know the name of him at the moment) and the guitars are rippin’, along with a pretty killer chorus. Again, videos, so simplistic back in the day! Too fucking cool, and rare, to see.

1.   REO Speedwagon – “Don’t Let Him Go”

Here we go again! You may be thinking, again, not a hard rock band! Oh, yes they are! Look past the radio hits, kids! These guys could really rock if they wanted to! (Check out the “Nine Lives” record or anything before that for proof of this.) This band had a few videos air this day, all of the album “Hi Infidelity,” a monster fucking album they released 30 years ago that is known as their magnum opus and one of my all time favorite albums. I put these guys at number one because they were a big deal when MTV first started out. They had a number of videos aired the first day, they had a commercial on the first day, and they also had the first concert to be aired on MTV. Yeah, they contributed a lot to the upbringing of MTV and really helped them out to become a popular music channel. I chose this song out of the 5 or so that aired of theirs just because simply, this song grooves. ‘Nuff said. 

So, there you go! Yeah, not many metal and hard rock videos aired the first day of MTV, but there would be many metal and hard rock videos to come on the channel. Hell, the genres would eventually get their own show on MTV called “Headbanger’s Ball” (A real killer show that was at its best with sir Riki Rachtman at the VJ spot.) A lot of bands found massive exposure through this channel, like Def Leppard, Motley Crue, and any other 80s band you could think of. It’s a shame that the channel is nowhere near what it was 30 years ago, because, from watching the very first hour of MTV aired on this day in 1981 on Vh1 Classic (weird, eh?), I found that first hour to be WAY more entertaining and awesome than the last 5 years of programming on MTV. It is really fucking sad and pathetic that MTV has become what it is today and that they pretty much refuse to celebrate their birthday. So, because of the asshats at MTV, I’d like to thank VH1 Classic for actually stepping up and showing what MTV used to be: a big, bad, kick ass music channel, and a great format for musicians to show their stuff, and look real cheesy or kick ass doing it. Happy 30th birthday MTV, and may you rest in peace while total tools and trashbag teens with kids ruin your name.  

Good riddance,

Bonzo Brad